Not a Crafty Mum

This week I've found being a Stay at Home Mum (SAHM) somewhat 'trying'.


Some mornings felt like hours long whinge fests and I started to question whether it was me C was bored with and whether she'd be better off in a nursery :( I asked some of my friends what their children did at nursery and I have to admit my heart was sinking when they told me about cooking, sticking, painting, play dough etc. In an ideal world, I'd be happy to do those things with C, but we are living in a smallish flat with only one room for our living space. I can't imagine being happy for it to be covered in paint and how do you stop a 16 month old from eating playdough?

Being a dutiful mother though, I went and bought a pack of craft stuff. I know! We can make a Valentine's Day card for Daddy! As a control freak, I spent the whole time resisting saying 'NO! Not there, that looks ridiculous. Look, just straighten out that heart, it's WONKY!'. I say resisting. I didn't resist when she started pulling the stickers off and tearing the card :) Not altogether an enjoyable activity then (for me, C looked quite pleased with herself, and R was chuffed when he got the card!). I could've kissed the friend who later told me of a playgroup around the corner which has all these 'craft' activities for older toddlers to do while you stand around drinking coffee with the other mums. Mwah!

The following day, I stumbled across an online discussion about teething. A woman with a similar aged toddler asked whether teething could completely change their personalities. A resounding 'yes' from the rest of the forumites. It could turn sunny natured, chilled out babies into whinging, clingy, bossy little things who burst into tears for no obvious reason, which pretty much summed up my girl this week. And now I came to think of it she does have her fist in her mouth a lot and looking in her mouth, there are the tale tell white lumps under her gums. Feeling like a complete plank, I gave C some Nurofen to see if that cheered her up.

Within half an hour I had my old C back. Lively, affectionate, fun. Yay! That evening I was in the kitchen making dinner while she played with her plastic food on the living room floor. Suddenly I could hear her calls becoming more persistent 'Doe, Doe, Doe' (Jo, Jo, Jo - she doesn't call me Mummy) so I went to see what was going on, expecting to be passed a doughnut and brocolli sandwich but found her sitting in her high chair! Much hilarity ensued when I asked her how she got in there. So I got her out and asked her to do it again. See above video.

Quick run through of 'my' things then:

1. Jogging. R came into the bedroom the morning before Valentines Day 'Happy Valentine's Day darling, here, have the trainers you ordered from ebay.' Who said romance was dead? Still haven't got C's buggy sorted, but did walk/run back from Marks' in the Maclaren the other day when she was whinging (again) so have started the pre-training.

2. Weight. The same. Vast.

3. Flat. Goes on the market TODAY!!! Eek. Quite scared.

4. Housework. Have frightened myself with my virtue in this area this week. It's so much nicer living in a clear, uncluttered environment, and not really that much extra work once you get into it. Why don't we just live like this the whole time? No need to nag either, since R has been making equal effort in the kitchen.

5. Finances. Nothing to report really. On a tight month, so have been quite good!

6. Career. Nothing to report.

7. Friends. It turns out the cock up in my last post wasn't my fault - hurrah! Also, two friends I haven't seen for ages have contacted to arrange a meet up so looking forward to those. The next few weekends are tied up with family, so I'll just have to do social stuff in the week. It's hard old life! Being a SAHM has many advantages, even if I can't remember the last time I left the house without a massive bag!

Oh dear!

Last night I had a stark reminder of just how much of a wally I can be - do other people do this kind of thing?

I called my Dad for an update on my Grandad (who is ill in hospital right now) and somehow managed to get onto to subject of Maternity Rights for Women who Work. Big mistake. While I can see my Dad (and apparenly Alan Sugar) had a point - it must be a pain paying two people for one job, and irritating when you don't know if people are coming back full or part time and even worse when they come back from maternity leave already pregnant with a second child, I don't really see the alternative.

My Dad is not a sexist man - he made a point of bringing up three daughters to believe they could do whatever they wanted to do - surely he would agree that women should be able to work if they want to? He works in a career heavily dominated by women, and the type of work which is easily compatible with a family, so surely paying women for a couple of years out of the 30 or so they will work in their life is a small price to pay? It's the babies who suffer most otherwise.

A (male) friend of mine moved to a new job a few years ago, heading up HR for a Housing Association. He did an audit on maternity leave and discovered that many of the hourly (ie. low) paid staff were returning to work as little as six weeks after giving birth - some after c-sections! - because they couldn't even afford to lose the 10% drop in pay that Statutory Maternity Pay allows. Of course, most of these staff were also the ones doing menial work such as cleaning so lugging around vacuum cleaners, buckets of water etc.

Anyway, I was ranting thus to my father, who was reciprocating - we are both rather good at pontificating - when my husband noticed steam coming out of my ears and said 'Don't forget to ask your Dad about xyz....' which closed the subject.

Ten minutes later I hung up the phone and said to my husband 'You would not believe what he was saying...' blah blah rant... a few minutes later my husband's mobile rang in his pocket. 'Erm, tell Jo she hasn't hung up properly and I can hear every word she is saying...'

In the words of my daughter 'Oh Dear...'

A quick update on my list:

1. Jogging. Have resolved things with the ebay cock so can fix wheels on pushchair. R has agreed to buy me trainers for Valentine's Day (although I'm hoping he'll forget about the Valentine's Day bit and just buy them for me). You won't see me for dust soon.

2. Weight. Still the same, although my lunch was rather meagre. I can't claim any virtue for that since it's only because I still haven't gone to the supermarket.

3. Flat. R and I did some amazing work on the flat yesterday. The living room, kitchen and hallway look fab. Just the bedrooms now.

4. Housework. Kind of linked to above, haven't done anything today though. Haven't seen husband to nag either.

5. Finances. Nothing to report.

6. Career. As above.

7. Friends. Should've met friends for lunch today, but couldn't get hold of them in time to let them know my plans, so missed out. Must be more organised and persistent when people don't return my messages (turned out they hadn't got them :().

Don't want to finish on a bad note though. Things are going well today! Blogging is great fun.

Probably the Most Boring Blog on the Internet

As I say, don't expect to be gripped by this blog. I'm a very average 32 year old surburban housewife (sorry, Stay at Home Mum!). In a former life I worked in the voluntary and public sector supporting vulnerable people to continue to live in the community. I had lots of jobs, from filling in benefit forms for housebound elderly people to training social workers in how to assess people and for two years before I had my daughter, I worked on a freelance basis doing consultancy to a range of agencies. I miss the human contact often - being incurably nosey, it was a great job for me!

Unusually for a wooly liberal, I do have a great sense of fun. I try to see the funny side of everything I do, even if it doesn't come until later. There are a few things I have never seen the funny side to. One is the time my husband 'lost' the tickets to our honeymoon meaning we spent two days stuck at Heathrow Airport, only for them to turn up in his work bag a few months later - oh, how I laughed.

I thoroughly enjoy crawling around after my daughter pretending to be a cat, chasing her around the park, singing the wheels on the bus at the tops of our voices, breastfeeding her to sleep in the rocking chair every evening and choosing her little outfit every morning (and after lunch, and various other stages of the day when she's spilt four tons of rubbish over herself). I fecking loathe tidying up 63,246,892,569 times a day, and living on a main road in London. I'm hoping this improves in the next 18 years or so. Meanwhile, I'm delighted I enjoy being a mum, especially since I've never been particularly keen on other people's babies. It took us 3 years to have a successful pregnancy, and even then it was a tough one (see R's blog at http://www.myspace.com/rorythedaddy) so it's a good job I got the best baby in the world (for me) in the end or I'd have been mighty pissed off:

I decided last night I want to record my progress in various elements in my life:

1. Jogging. I need to start jogging. To start jogging I need to buy some trainers. I need to fix my daughters pram so she can come with me and I need to resolve a dispute with an ebay seller (aka Cock) before I can do this!

2. Weight. I need to lose weight. The best way for me to do this is to get on with my jogging (or never eat cake). See above.


3. Flat. We need to sell it and buy one (preferably a house) away from a main road, with a garden, and with a bedroom far from the front door (if it's a flat).

4. Housework. I loathe it. I need to either get more organised and get on with it, or get a cleaner. And stop nagging my husband.

5. Finances. They are not as bad as they have been, but I am still allergic to checking my balance (feel quivery and sick at the thought) and opening bank letters. This must improve, I am OLD and it's not good to throwback to the student days every time I hand my debit card over - will it go through? - especially when there is plenty of money in the account (or rather overdraft).


6. Career. I'm very happy being a Stay at Home Mum right now. Very happy indeed. I am working towards doing some kind of development consultancy /coaching / mentoring in a later life. Very hazy plan, but I think I could use some time now to read around the subject etc.

7. Friends. I have lots of friends (even some 'online' friends), but I don't see them enough. We all seem so busy right now, but I'm determined that this year we will do more together. I think they all still like me!


This blog will also feature:

1. Husband. R, was born October '66. Calm, collected, compasionate and emotionally literate. Sometimes so laid back it's really fucking irritating! Feel like I'm being a Good Mum to his child, which I guess is an important characteristic of a Good Wife, but on the whole I'm pretty shit at balancing the wife / mother thing. I'm knackered and stroppy and sometimes being upbeat and jolly for my daughter all day takes its toll and I'm an impatient old cow by the time he comes home!


2. Daughter. C, was born October '06. Beautiful. My inspiration really. Really want to be the best I can for her (and help my husband to be his best too). I thought it would be nice to monitor her progress in life too. Right now, she's a complete whirlwind, and she lights up any room she walks into (whilst relentlessly destroying it!).

3. Mother. Mum, born sometime in the Dark Ages. Very supportive and kind. Slightly off the wall in a quirky kind of way.

4. Father. Dad, born even earlier than Mum, also very supportive, very clever and knowledgable about a range of issues, and always right, even when he's wrong, maybe even especially when he's wrong.

5. Sister. E, lives in Sydney, has one son who is 6 months older than C. She is very beautiful and savvy.

6. Sister, K, lives near Mum and Dad. Also has one son who is 5. She is also very beautiful and clever.

7. Brother, D, lives at University and doesn't have children, but does have political aspirations beyond his years.

Will introduce further characters as they come up. Reckon that's enough for now.